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Start with The Beach, falling down, trying to perfect a grace, so this is me trying movement, and then in the end I sing it, the beginning of the song at the end again, if I’m allowed to sing. And I’m not happy with my singing 

Journey with a look to the future, but also diving into the past 

On Tuesday’s Kickboxing I relived some of my Sport Trauma

In Kickboxing trying to do Kick, never quite worked, keep trying, and then I do Liegestütze, 

The effort of these sport stuff, my body still feels traumatised, there are some things I don’t feel comfortable talking about in this space, only in therapy and Student Support. But my body and memory go back to all the sport I did, Judo, Training and Basketball. Why didn’t I do ballet. 

Trying to ballet, struggle with the Showdance choreo

Just do free-flow, improv, I do my dancing like I did with Thikwa people, must write to them. 

I must write write 

Then I do movement like I wanted to do in Kickboxing, I feel better doing something because I don’t have to do it right now. Do free flow movement,

  • Then the voice over comes over: “That’s not enough. It needs to be bigger. More ambitious. Das reicht nicht, dass entspricht nicht unseren Forderungen, ihren Forderungen (reminded of that non binary performer who performed in gay club and suddenly anxiety spoke, they were taken aback

Oh maybe guitar then, piano, oh I have no piano. Need to run back down from right upstairs because I forgot my piano, makes people realise how I feel, Marcy if watching might relate to running down to forgotten MA Seminar students 

Academia. Im re-expressing. 

Isn’t this very lethargic. 

Is this an art piece or therapy session? 

“Richard stop being distracted. Mental Health, Guilt, Guilt, Distraction, Trigger”

My father’s death. He’ll always follow me on my journey. 

  • Need a techie to play sound. 

Can I do this some time in January? Would make it easier. 

The Coke can. The Coke can must make a cameo, make me really excited, look around. But then ask people, is this really Art? Now come on academics, give us some insight? Need academics, artists and students here, and someone like the girl i met on bumble, or Courteney? Down to earth people I mean 

And then also with the Coke sound, Kelsey discovering analogue sounds and rediscovers instruments (oh could he Rio in to create some instruments with them) 

But where else was Kelsey, in being overwhelmed? In always worrying, in being frustrated. In collaboration, in the the dream to create this Gesamtkunstwerk, but then it might go so terribly wrong. 

Watching art to be inspired 

Where my ideas come from 


Could just be in the Project Room or the Creative Arts Studio


  1. Creative Arts Studio
  2. Outside Creative Arts Studio (but it will be winter) 
  3. Common Room 
  4. Lecture Hall (Edward Davies) 
  5. Project Room 
  6. Painting Studio next to project room 
  7. The round passageway in between, where the Still Life Performance took place (play still life by suede as a reference) – can also have the audience below like they were in still life, can also have another person directing them around, if it doesn’t all work by integrating it into my script 
  8. Other Painting Studio, actually no maybe these social distancing barriers make it difficult. 
  9. Smaller Gallery Space 
  10.  Lecture Space where photography dark materials was 
  11. Lighting Studio 
  12. Computer Room 
  13. Bigger Gallery Space, with Piano 
  • Right, I cannot do all this, this is ridiculous… deicide. 



This idea came to me when lying on the floor for an audio heavy Ensemble Performance Show & Tell

So I just wanted to….


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