This week began with our final presentations of the notebooks. We had to be selective with what research, experimentation and reflection we wanted to show everyone as we only had 10 minutes. I personally found this really hard as I’ve had a lot to say this semester and my project is something that’s been growing for years! Despite my slight rush to get through the information I actually really enjoyed discussing my works and process with everyone, I’m happy that I ended my last class on a good note. Maybe in the future there’s a scenario where we can discuss our projects forever, but I guess that would be called being a full time artist! On another note I think I was fairly vulnerable in this presentation, I know that on these notebooks I speak my mind but actually saying the words out loud is very different. For example I explained that I painted the can because of my stepdads smoking habits, something that makes me feel a lot of shame even though I’m not responsible. I spoke about it further with Mike after class and it felt okay to talk about, Maybe because I’m not that same person having to I’ve in that space anymore? No matter the reason why it shows more growth and that maybe I really am reaching my goal to become a more honest person through my art.
With my preparation complete I spent the rest of the week panicking about my other exhibition module, It’s strange how I felt different emotions about each project, obviously I was stressed about both but my time paintings felt healthier somehow.
So on the Tuesday it actually happened! After all this time planning and many a sleepless night we managed to put on a great show. I’ll be explaining my experience of the show in steps.
I found setting up fairy difficult, I hadn’t been sleep properly for sometime and my girlfriends described me as only ever being half there in recent weeks. Maybe thats why I forgot my different tapes and has to use my white tack after all? Maybe it’s also why I was really struggling to explain what I was thinking and communicate in general. Either when putting my paintings up I changed my mind about the layout, I originally wanted the grid form as I expected there to be happening in the space around me, I ended up lining the up instead which I felt gave them even more breathing room.
After the morning I has setting up I was really nervous but the tours went really well, I think my second tour was my better introduction to my work. I had my girlfriend, her mum and her auntie all supporting me on my second run which in some ways helped but it also made me more nervous as they hadn’t seen me in my working environment before. I also worked on the help desk most of the day and as much as it gave me slight ptsd from my customer service jobs I found it to be a really positive experience. It was also interesting learning why people were in the space, some had come for the event while others happened to be just passing through but all that I spoke to were happy to be there.
The end of the event was fun but also in some ways sad, taking down my paintings felt very strange. I actually stood for a moment just to absorb my work in the space for possibly the last time. Saying goodbye to everyone was also strange, I know I will see them around again but would we talk to each other? Most likely and a smile and hello but not much more, ironically I think the theme of time for this my final semester shows itself in so many aspects of my creative practice and life.