Time is a very funny concept to me, it passes quick or it takes ages – If I think about it I seem to stress and feel off track when I forget about it I seem to have the best moments. Time shows evolvement to me, time passed shows me not everything is permanent, time passing shows me bad days are just a phase, time passing shows me good days will be good memories I will smile upon. Time me has shown me acceptance.
Time has played a major role in my practice as I’ve explored emotion, I’ve felt my vulnerability and allowed myself to be in the moment.. feel and react.
With time I have realised being the most vulnerable self is also the strongest I have felt.
Someone at their most vulnerable is at their strongest – It’s the rawest and purest form of expression.
The tiktoktiktoktiktok was the sound I heard when I entered the class – It caused a sense of instant stress for me as I could feel the time pass by, my body could feel each and every second cross my body. It made me restless, made me think a list of negative aspects and qualities within myself and in fraction of seconds I was sweating thinking about the time I’ve wasted – I was also fascinated how my perspective changes while I’m aware of time passing by and when I’m in the moment and think back on it – Socialising and with conversations it was interesting to notice how a constant theme of being scared of time is, the anxiety of time is. My hope is with time passing by my relationship of this uneasiness soothes down.
The classes started with questions such as:
How is your body feeling? How is your mind feeling? Where do you want to be in time right now?
My body is healthy, I can say at this point parts of my body have slowly started to smile at times when they used to scream and cry – Withing the moment in class I clearly remember by body was extremely happy as we had a big cheese sandwich – I was in jeans that fit well AND HAS GOOD POCKETS. I felt at ease after meeting everyone but was on edge due to the tiktoktiktok.. my mind is nurturing itself and feels strong and clear. FOCUSED I was thinking to be in the past at the start with my parents, with food, the summer I had back at home just wanting to feel the warmth. But instead of going back and with the concept of time I shifted my focus to the future to the exhibition I will showcase and celebrate with my family, my lecturer, my peers and have a day to remember
Rest was introductory – where we are guided through the semester and what to expects with what weeks and more.
( need to add photographs)
This semester we had group tutorials were we shared our feedback performing an exercise reminding me of musical chairs and speaking at our partners sharing our feedbacks. We performed this 5 times. After a while it made it feel easy, alright, acceptable. There were more people in the same boat as me. Saying it aloud and not bottling up inside your body and mind makes the process easier