I think the best way to start my journal is to reflect a little on my project from my first year…
Not everything turns out the way you expect – this sentence is a perfect description of my first year at Aberystwyth University. I can say this thing for sure about that project and the process of its creation.
“Why?” you may ask. Let me tell you that I started my adventure with studying abroad in 2019, so the 2nd semester took place in 2020. Have you heard of something like… wait, what is it called… global pandemic? Because of this “small” inconvenience, I had to travel back through thousands of kilometres to my home country – Poland. Do not worry, I took an airplane. It goes without saying that this whole situation caused many hardships in my life. Some of them were almost impossible to go through and they left their mark, in my art especially.
That is why I am not fully satisfied with the final outcome of my project, but can we ever be completely pleased with our art? I do not think so. However, there are some things about my art piece that I am satisfied with. The main thing I enjoyed was connecting two subjects I fancy ART (I know you are surprised) and BIOLOGY. I had to use my little cousin’s kiddy microscope because I had no access to more proffesional equipment.
Survival conditions right?
I am not going to lie, it was pretty hard to use it and make photos look decent. Nevertheless, I can call it an exceptional experience that took me back to my childhood days. The microscope I used was in fact the same one I used to play with as a kid. Now you can imagine how old it was and how bad the quality was if five-year-old me had fun using it to see how funny mosquito’s legs look like in the huge zoom. Sometimes I like to think back to the time when my only worry was which dress to choose for my barbie doll. Now that I am thinking of it, I could connect my current project to my childhood memories.
Maybe it is a good idea.
Who knows?
Definitely not me.
I would describe my first year as stressful, to say at least. New environment, no friends in town, history classes, and empty bank account… I could list much more. All of these were the things that contributed to my poor mental health. I did not know it then, but I needed someone to help me deal with it because I could not do it by myself. I know it is not a popular opinion and I do not want you to understand me wrong, but I am kind of glad that this “COVID-19 thing” happened. It pushed me to take a temporary withdrawal from the university and come back with a fresh mind one year later. I let myself sort some things out and I spent a lot of time with the ones I truly love. Even if the most important being in my life, that was my wonderful cat – Maciek, departed this earth, I am very grateful that I could spend his last days with him because I was in Poland. I think that the universe planned a global pandemic for me because it changed me for the better (but do not blame it on me, I swear I am not the cause of it). I feel like a completely different person now. I am certain I will do better because of these changes and the new positive energy I now have within me.
I want to make use of it.
I want to let myself not worry.
I want to create.