When I am in a depressed state, I find myself watching movies that just make the situation worse, but it was good research. I have been watching a youtuber called Kat Napiorkowska, who makes short films on different areas of mental health. The ones I identify with most are ‘living with depression’ and ‘living with social anxiety.’ it is the not having the energy to do anything I enjoy and fear of leaving my flat if somebody else is standing in the hallway, I have to wait for them to leave first. hopefully, this idea of documenting mental health through film is something I can make in the future.
I also researched into Vincent van Gogh and his struggle with mental health and incorporating it into his art.
Vincent van Gogh, born March 30th, 1853, in Zundert in the Netherlands. Vincent’s parents were not happy with his artist lifestyle, but this did not discourage Vincent from working hard and improving his skills. He lived in various places in the Netherlands, eventually living in The Hague where he took painting and drawing lessons with his uncle, the artist Anton Mauve. In the spring of 1881, Vincent moved back in with his parents which led to a fight with his father of the disappointment of his career. He eventually then moved to Paris to further develop his skills. In pairs he developed his well-known style with bright colours. Yet after two years he found the city life to much and was admitted to a mental hospital in Saint Remy de Provence, where despite his unstable state he painted, he painted over 150 paintings. Including Almond Blossom. Vincent’s mental health continued to fluctuate. During one period of confusion, he ate some of his oil paint, to which he was then restricted to only drawing. Vincent spent his final months in Auvers-su-Oise, a village near Paris. He threw himself into painting, however, after a bad encounter with his brother Theo he started to worry about his finical status and future. This led him to take his own life in July of 1890. After his death, the appreciation for his art increased and his fame was rising.
My favourite painting “sunflowers by Vincent” “Almond Blossom”
I spent my reading week trying to catch up on work I missed when off ill. Trying to get back into the routine of taking pictures of what I am doing everyday with my mental health. I have found myself falling into my old unhealthy habits of getting drunk, smoking heavily, and staying up all night to get work done, so I captured these moments, but I am not happy about it. My photos have definitely changed since week one when I was just taking photos of coffee cups. These photos show more of my bad days, I think. Over the next week I want to do more drawing and painting representing my mental health
The blurry images were completely by accident, but i liked how imperfect they are. The messiness of it represents my bad days well.