I found the second lecture to be just as useful as the first. The Nimbus Series by Berndnaut Smilde particularly interested me, as the making of the artificial clouds were unlike any other artwork I had seen before. I reacted to Smilde’s work by being amazed and shocked that you could make a cloud indoors with just a smoke machine and water vapour. The more I thought about his artwork the more it confused me, as I was unsure as to why someone would want to make a cloud indoors, as it felt like Smilde was appropriating nature slightly by making a cloud at his will. It felt like the narrative of an old Greek myth about a man creating his own clouds, who would then be punished by the Gods for his hubris. I have settled on appreciating this artwork, as it is an astounding achievement to re-home a natural occurrence in a man made setting.
This week we also took a tour of the Arts Centre to see the spaces that could be used for the Takeover in May. I was particularly drawn to the upper level of the Arts Centre, as I really liked how light the space is. I was drawn to the window space (seen below) as the lights creating shadows on the wall reminded me of the shadows that I was making with my body last week in the Project Room. I also gravitated to the arch way that leads between the upstairs gallery and the theatre entrance. I felt that this arch way reflected my work well as it is a transitional space between one area and to another and I currently feel that I am going through a transition between being a child and an adult. The bench in the arch way with a blank wall opposite made the space like a miniature theatre. I could imagine making an installation in that space, with a projection of a performance and objects to make my own personal home, as if the audience is stepping into my body and mind.
This week I have been moving my body everyday in different spaces and styles to feel more at home in myself and to release some tension that I feel living in my body every day. I wanted to move my body to explore who I am as an adult and to take up as much space as I wanted. I wanted to let go of the fear of what my body can and can’t do and how others perceive me.
day one 15/02/22
Moved to Heart of Glass by Blondie at 10.15am, 1m
Moved to Hozier, 5.38pm, 4m8s
day two 16/02/22
Moved to music in Hugh Owen study room, 12.56pm, 45s
In the bath, 5.04pm, 2m33s
day three 17/02/22
Moved to no music in the SoA whilst developing my negatives, 2m2s
day four 18/02/22
Moving to my favourite album (Melodrama, Lorde)
Songs in order: Green Light, Sober, Homemade Dynamite, Hard Feelings, Sober II, The Louvre. I thought this would be an appropriate album to move to, as there is a variety of song tempos and the album is a concept album about a teenage house party. All 1m.
day five 19/02/22
Moved to another song off Melodrama (Liability)
Moving to music with headphones, 5m45s (taped my phone to the roof)
day six 20/02/22
‘Dance’ inspired by Kate Bush and the way she moves her body. 4m26s. This dance was inspired by not only the Wuthering Heights music video, but also by a group of people I saw on YouTube dancing in a field all dressed as Kate Bush. This video filled me with so much happiness to see people collectively moving their bodies together for the fun of it, not because they were ‘good’ dancers but because they wanted to do something collectively and to have fun under a shared love for Kate Bush.
For my final dance this week I moved with my friend and housemate el in our kitchen. She is so full of joy and fun so she was the perfect person to dance to Beyonce with. 1m
Ever since I have been eighteen, I have felt suspicious of my body. I have felt like it wasn’t mine, that it could betray me at any moment; in the sense that it could make me sick, or distract people from who I am really am. I feel like I DO see people being betrayed by their bodies everyday, they do get sick, and they are judged from their façade. This week has taught me that even though my body holds ultimate power over me, I can still love it and enjoy it for the volatile machine that it is. I have tried to wipe away some of my insecurities and just exist as who I am, where I am right now. I loved moving my body this week. I have shyed away from using the word ‘dance’ or any lexis surrounding the word, as I don’t feel like this week has been a performance. I felt like I was simply moving in time and decorating time, the same way that a tree sways to the wind or how the ocean runs over a pebbled shore. I wasn’t really trying to do anything expect move, express and record. This felt poetic and freeing.