Entry 7

photo of orange cloudy sky

TEARS TEARS TEARS

I’ve got to say this project has definitely open up a barrel of emotions. Self image is a very big thing to deal with and low self esteem can be very tiring. Some days ill be contents with how I look and others just feel like an endless spiral of self hate. Opening up about body image is very tough and such a battle for me, over a year things have been very hard, from being in lockdown, being stuck in my flat with nothing to do, to having to deal with loss and pain. I started this project with no intention of exposing myself like this but in some way it is so cathartic and it makes it much easier when I am surrounded by supportive people.

Looking at things that have changed on my body I started taking pictures of them to pin point the things that make me feel the way I do. Stretch marks appearing, my posture being bad, bigger thighs, bigger belly. Putting on weight is such an easy thing to do and it creeps up on you very quickly, having the motivation and mental strength to do something about it is the hard part. It is a long process lose weight and a very hard process too.

Everyone’s body is different and no one is exactly the same. I wanted to try and show that different angles and lighting can change the way your body looks. How slouching down add rolls and standing straight makes me look flatter, but at the end of the day, its just one body. Its the only one I have and I need to learn to love and respect it.

I’ve been finding it hard to pluck up the courage to even post these on here and they are very basic pictures of myself and not really that exposing. But this is just a start, the more I thought about the direction of this project the more I wanted to try and test myself and see how far I can push myself.

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